I have been so emotional lately. I don't know why, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, maybe not, who knows but at times I get so overwhelmed with life and all the stresses that seem to never end. Sometimes being a mother, a wife, a full-time employee, a housekeeper, etc. gets so overwhelming and then I just beat myself up because I feel as though I am not good enough for any of the tasks I am trying to do each day.
Today as we were driving in the car the tears just kept falling down my cheeks. I am so grateful to have the opportunitiy to be a mother, but at times I feel like I can't do it and I am having another one to add to the mix. I am so grateful for Zac and the friendship that we share. As I tried to put into words how my heart was hurting and the burdens that I feel from everyday life Zac just stopped the car and gave me a hug. He reminded me that the most important thing in life is that we have each other and we are blessed to raise four of the Lord's missionaries. He is so good and making things seem so much easier and better. I am so blessed to have him, and the friendship and love that we share. I love him so much.
My heart still was feeling down and because I am so stubborn I wasn't about to change my attitude. I came home and took a nap because I had to work tonight. I was still feeling a little down when I woke up from my nap. I got ready and kissed the boys and Zac goodbye.
As I was about ready to walk out the door Tegan's little voice said, "mom, don't forget to wear your bracelet so all the girls can see how pretty you are" At that moment my whole attitude changed and I felt so humbled. I went back in the house and put on Tegan's homemade bracelet that he made for me at school.
It was so cute on Saturday Zac had taken the car golfing and Tegan said, "mom where is my backpack (his backpack was in the car), I need to get you a bracelet I made for you" I said, "you made me a bracelet" and he replied, "Oh i wasn't supposed to tell you, when dad gets home I will get it and pretend I never told you about it okay." It made me smile!! He was so sweet when he gave it to me he opened the wrapping himself and said, mom I made this just for you and I even put these purple beads on it because I know that is your favorite color. The time and thought he put into it was so sweet.
After I put on the bracelet Tegan said, "See mom, now you look beautiful" How my heart changed from a poor me to an overwhelming grateful heart to be blessed to have these amazing angels call me MOM. It's amazing how they teach me more everyday than I feel that I teach them.
I am so grateful to have my boys and the joy that they bring to my life. Everyone says that these days will go by so quickly so enjoy them, and at times I feel like it will never end but I know that it will end and it makes me so sad to think that they won't be my little boys forever. Oh how I wish I could stop them from growing up and enjoy this stage of our lives forever, but I am sure that each stage in life will bring so much joy in all different ways.
I am so grateful for the lesson that Tegan taught me tonight and how he helped me look at life with a smile instead of a frown. He helped me realize what is most important and what really matters. It's those simple acts of love that make each day worth living. Nothing in life matters more than your family and your loved ones. I feel so beautiful with my bracelet on while I sit here at work, not just because he did such a good job making it but because I know that in the morning I will get to go home to three amazing children and the best husband in the world. Man I really am one lucky girl!!
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