While I was at work one day my babysitter texted me and said, "Tegan just lost Pepper (our gecko) outside" I have told Tegan multiple times to not take him outside because he could lose him. The babysitter told him to look for him and Tegan just told her, I don't have to look for him because my mom and dad will just buy me another one. I was so sad because I felt like I was failing as a mother to have such an ungrateful child. I feel so guilty because I have to work and I feel like I am failing at motherhood. When Zac got home my dad came down and both of them searched our yard and our garage. They turned over every rock and moved everything and they weren't able to find him. I got home from work about 9:30 and sat on my bed and cried to Zac because I felt like I was failing at motherhood and told him all about my problems (I am sure most of it was hormones, but he was good to listen). Zac said, "and to top it off we lost pepper" He said lets go look one more time. I thought he was crazy because it had been hours and both him and my dad searched already. We knelt down together and said a prayer to either guide us to find him or help us be okay and comforted with his loss. I was walking around the yard with a flashlight and Zac was searching the garage. I was crying and pleading with Heavenly Father to please just let me know He was there, please just let me know that He loves me. The neighbor kids ran over and talked with me for a few minutes and actually made me forget about myself and my hormonal "problems". After they left I walked over into the garage (where Zac had just looked a couple minutes before) and I turned over a bowl and there was little Pepper. My heart jumped. I was so excited. I felt so overwhelmed with the love of Christ. Something so small, but felt SO BIG to me!! Zac and I both felt the love of Chirst that night and knew that our prayer was answered. It was His way of showing us that He really is there and loves us.
The next morning when Teg woke up I told him to go look in Pepper's cage. He came back so happy that Pepper was back. I told him that Dad and I said a prayer and our prayers were answered. I then said, "So, please don't take him outside again okay??" He then said back to me, "well, if I do and I lose him again then we will just say a prayer and Heavenly Father will find him again." SO NOT THE MESSAGE I was trying to give my child and the battle of motherhood continues, but at least I know that Heavenly Father is here for us whenever we need Him. : )
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