We will miss you grandma. . .

This beautiful lady returned home to our Father in Heaven on Thursday Jan. 10, 2013.  I am so grateful for the chance we had to go see her on Wednesday, the day before she passed away.  It was so crazy, when I was watching Kyson say goodbye I just knew in my heart it was the last time we would see her and I am pretty sure he knew as well.  The way he layed on her for a few minutes while she cried and held him and he had tears in his eyes and then the multiple trips to the door and back to her to tell her that he loved her while he put his head on her weak shoulder was just so touching!! It was like he did not want to say goodbye.   

 

Saying goodbye to my grandma was one of the many times Kyson has melted my heart this past week. 

 

On Thursday night I had to go to work for a few hours and before I left for work my parents called and told me that grandma was not doing very good, she was not really responding to anything.  Before I left for work I knelt down by Kyson and told him that grandma might go back with Jesus tonight.  He just got serious and looked down at the ground and said, "why mom" and I told him she was hurting really bad and was pretty sick.  I then reminded him that it's okay if she passes away tonight because she would be back in Heaven with my grandpa and Paul and be out of pain.  Kyson so sweetly looked at me and said, "when she is done with Jesus and Paul will she come back to play with us"  My heart just hurt for him because I know how much she means to him. 

 

When my mom called me at work to tell me that she was gone my heart just broke.  I did not want to tell Kyson.  Zac called me right after my mom and I told him the news and he told the boys.  I talked with Kyson on the phone and this was our conversation,

Kyson: "mom, grandma is up with Jesus and now I am sad"

Me: (my heart hurt so bad for him and I started to cry) "I know Kyson, I am sorry I am sad too"

Kyson: "why are you crying??"

Me: "because I am sad and miss grandma too"

Kyson: "mom, I don't want those babies at your work to think you are being a baby.  Wipe those tears off your face and be happy.  You hear me mom, be happy"

Me: (I couldn't help but laugh) "okay Kyson, I will be happy"

Kyson: "okay mom, we don't want people to think we are babies"

Oh I love this kid so much!!  He just knows exactly what to say and when to say it to melt my heart!!

 

The next morning Kyson woke me up and the first thing he said was, "mom, grandma is up with Jesus now" I said, "yeah but you know what, if you ever miss grandma you can say a prayer and remember she is always right here in your heart" and i pointed to his heart.  His response was, "she's in my heart?? well what if she got into my throat and I swallowed her, then she would be in my tummy"  Once again, I just giggled.

 

Every since she has passed away the only thing Kyson says in his nightly prayers is bless grandma.  One night all he said was "Heavenly Father, please bless grandma and help her come back to life in the name of Jesus Christ Amen"  I just started to cry.  I had to then explain to him that she is never coming back but one day we will get to see her again. 

 

Today we went over to my mom's house and my mom has a table of pictures of our grandparents.  Kyson just stood in front of my grandmas picture and looked at if for a few minutes. I wish I could have read what was going through his mind, but I know that he holds a very special place in his heart for her. 

 

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have in this gospel and I know without a doubt that I will see her again one day.  I am so happy she is pain free now and happy.  I already miss her so much though.  I am so grateful for the joy and happiness Kyson has brought to me during this hard time.  I love my boys so much and the strength they give me!!  I am not sure why Kyson had such a special connection with my grandma but I love to think that she will be his angel the rest of his life.  We love you so much grandma and you will be missed tons!! 

Random pics of fun times lately

 Beckem got this hat and backpack for Christmas from Nana and Papa and he LOVES to wear it around.  He looks so cute with his little backpack.  I love that he LOVES to try to be as big as his brothers. 

 I came home from work the other day and these three had their basketball shorts and hats on (yes it is winter and they LOVE to wear their shorts).  They were so excited to show me that they all matched and they told me they all look like cool dudes : )  I love them!!

 Beckem LOVES his baby brother.  I love to watch these two, Beckem has to know where Bo is at all times and Bo gets the biggest smile on his face when he sees his brothers. 

 We are so lucky, he is such a good baby.  He is always smiling with his cute dimples : ) 

 We got a huge snow storm last week so the boys and Zac went outside and built an igloo.  The boys were so excited!! I went out to play but I only lasted long enough to get some pictures, I HATE being cold. 

Grandma's Special Boy

My grandma has not been doing very good and has now been put on Hospice.  We went out two days before Christmas to see her, but then all the kids got sick so we haven't been out since.  

Today we decided we needed to go visit her.  I told Kyson, "after Tegan gets out of school we are going to go visit Grandma Rogers" and he said, "Mom is she getting ready to go back to Jesus" It brought tears to my eyes because he has always had such a special place in his heart for her and cares so much for her.  I explained to him that she might and it's okay because then she would no longer be in so much pain.  (She has a sore on her leg that the tendon is showing, : ( and she is in quite a bit of pain from it).   

When we got there to see her, her sister had just gotten there to visit as well.  We told the boys they needed to go downstairs to play.  Kyson asked if he could just stand at Grandma's feet and be by her.  I told him he could but he needed to be very quite so she could visit with her sister.  So he stood there for quite a while and grandma and her sister visited.  When her sister left I went over and held her hand and told her we wanted to come check on her and Kyson wanted to come see her and she just started to cry.  I told her that he has a special place in his heart for her and she just cried and said, "I know, I have a special place in my heart for him too"  By this time Kyson was downstairs playing with Tegan and Beckem and it was time for us to leave.  Tegan got his shoes on and went over and told her goodbye.  Zac took Beckem and Tegan out to the car while I helped Kyson get his shoes on.  Kyson walked over and said to me, "mom, I want to sit by grandma" I told him there was not a lot of room by her but he could stand by her.  He went over to her side and layed his head down on her and she just held him and started to cry.  They sat like this for a few minutes and grandma just cried and said, "this is my special boy, you are so special to me"  It was so sweet.  After Kyson stood up and I told him it was time to leave he kept going to the door and then back over to grandma to give her a few more loves before he left and he just kept saying, "I love you grandma" 

Kyson has such a special compasionate heart for her and it is so tender to see.  I don't know what is going to happen with my grandma, but I am so grateful we were able to go out today to visit.